Men vs Surrey (H) - 07/12/2023
On this fine Thursday night the league champions from last year rocked up to fortress poplar. You could feel that they hadn’t heard the rumours of our performances this years as one member of the opposition even turned up in a suit. We were keen to put this right and also by winning gain a trip to see our lord and father sir reverend dr cutty shark in Brum!!!!
Words cannot do justice the performance the boys gave in the first quarter. It was an absolute blitz against Surrey and they were left shell-shocked. In attack Tadpole Dimitrios was an absolute animal scoring 2 back shots in the opening minutes of the game whilst attacking the shallow end. Flaccid brexit was also back and causing absolute carnage scoring 2 for himself as well. The ball was being moved around at lightening speed and in his last game for the team Tadpole Adam added yet another to his seasons tally. Meanwhile in defence Surrey posed no threat. Tadpole Preston controlled the space phenominally well and if the ball did get into pit our drop rendered their pit A useless. Working as a team Surrey was neutralised and considering we were attacking the shallow end this quarter was outstanding!!! 5-0
The team continued to be unrelenting in the second quarter as we were determined to put this game to bed. From kick off lumpfish immediately got away from his man and scored. He did this the whole quarter, breaking away from Surrey but was unfortunately not rewarded. There was great link-up play from the boys with Tadpole Preston frequently finding himself open, slamming in goals from the most obscene angles. Flaccid Brexit not to be undermined scored the most disgusting goal of all time, even causing the ref to say some profanity. A back shot all the way from the wing somehow managed to curve around their goalkeeper in what was a throwback to a similar goal against Essex last year. Tadpole Phil also did an incredible job in keeping the oppositions quickest swimmer silent. Surrey did manage to score 2 this quarter a get a tiny foothold into the game but the boys had done their job and already victory was looking certain. 10-2
Now the third quarter is not something anyone wants to remember. Tragedy struck to Tadpole Dimitrios again as his knee gave way resulting in him needed assistance to get out of the pool. In the pool meanwhile, it was carnage. All the commotion and cramps led to many substitutions and poor communication meant we were all of the place. Chundy made some good saves to deny Surrey who even amongst all of this only managed to score once. Flaccid brexit made sure Surrey wouldn’t make any in-roads who neutralised this quarter by scoring a penalty. 11-3
During the last quarter the team went through the motions to close the game out. Tadpole Akanimo was keen to impress and with some steadfast defence prevented a Surrey goal from a 5 on 3 after some shameless goal-hanging from Lumpfish which unfortunately resulted in a goal for him. Grunion too was ever presented filling in at pit D for our downed tadpole, playing against his toughest opponent to date. Flaccid Brexit drew a million majors from the Surrey boys this quarter resulting in yet another goal for Tadpole Preston. Finally ending his BLWP career on a high Tadpole Adam scored once last goal for the club.
Final score 14-6
MOTM: Tadpole Preston who scored 4 while covering almost every position on the pitch.
Shoutout goes to Barney Bear for staying with Tadpole Dimitrios in A&E the whole night to make sure he was ok!
Special Shoutout to Tadpole Adam : It has been an absolute honour playing with you for the first term and you will be surely missed by the whole club when you get back to California after Christmas!!!!!!!
Scorers:
Tadpole Adam-2
Lumpfish-2
Tadpole Dimitrios-2
Tadpole Preston-4
Flaccid Brexit -4
